How this Sports Psychologist Makes Money Helping Golfers Maximize Their Mental Game

Dr. Shannon Reece’s biggest obstacle to playing great in all areas of her life was fear of failure, which infiltrated all her experiences as a competitive athlete. But through a love of sport and psychology, mixed with a fascination and longing to understand peak experiences led her to pursue a Masters and PhD at the best-applied […]

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Why the Explosive Growth of E-Commerce Could Mean More Jobs

When the robots came to online retailer Boxed, dread came, too: The familiar fear that the machines would take over, leaving a trail of unemployed humans in their wake. Yet their fears didn’t come to pass.

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How to Handle People Who Hate Your Frugal Lifestyle

While frugal people often get a bad rap for being “cheap,” it’s usually due to misunderstanding more than anything else. Oftentimes, non-frugal folks assume those who are more careful with their money just “don’t know how to have fun” or haven’t learned to enjoy the finer things in life. Or they might assume someone who doesn’t spend freely must be poor, or have squandered money in the past, or are just plain miserly.

Yes, there are plenty of folks who are frugal out of necessity – and if you’re just getting by on a low income, frugality is definitely your friend.

But if you ask a frugal person what drives them to be judicious with their spending, often it has nothing to do with those preconceived notions.

For example, there are a ton of frugal people whose bank accounts are brimming with cash – the “millionaire next door types” who have socked away money for years.

Other folks choose a frugal lifestyle because they want to maximize the money they earn. Some deeply abhor waste, or choose frugality to reduce their consumption and lessen their impact on the environment. And some people live frugally because they want to simplify their lives – when they’re not spending money, they have less to stress about.

But if there’s one thing for certain, it’s this: Our frugality confuses the heck out of people who don’t “get it.”

When you’re not frugal, it’s hard to understand why others don’t spend the way you do – or why they choose to go without when they can clearly afford more. Unfortunately, some people hate frugality and look down on it – and really, that’s where the problem lies.

Three Ways to Deal With People Who Hate Your Frugal Lifestyle

Almost anyone who’s lived a frugal lifestyle has faced a naysayer or two somewhere down the line. Maybe it’s a co-worker who makes fun of your older, paid-off car or your refusal to go out for drinks. Or a sibling who criticizes your simple, affordable home. Perhaps you have an acquaintance who looks down on your choice of clothing, or a neighbor who thinks you really need to “spruce up the place” to make your property as attractive as theirs.

Whoever the person is – and no matter what they say – it’s important to stand your ground.

Here are some ways to deal with the haters who may not appreciate your frugal tastes:

#1: Focus on your goals.

While choosing to be frugal isn’t the easiest decision to make, it’s a lifestyle that comes with too many upsides to count. When you spend wisely and waste as little as possible, you tend to have more money to save and spend on important goals.

Obviously, more savings can help you sleep better at night – and even provide a safety buffer if you lose your job or face a loss in income. And when your expenses are lower, you have fewer bills to worry over.

Or maybe you’re frugal so you can afford to travel the world. By spending less on housing, food, and entertainment, you can afford to traverse the globe while also saving steadily for the future that will inevitably come.

Either way, focusing on these goals is the best thing you can do to stay on track. A non-frugal friend may not understand your desire to have a fully-funded emergency stash or to pay for your child’s college education, but that doesn’t make these goals any less worthy.

Focus on the future and on your goals, and that will help ward off any negative feelings from people who might criticize you.

• Related: Putting Frugality in Context of a Busy Modern Life

#2: Know that some people will never understand.

Many Americans are so caught up in consumer culture that they can never truly understand why someone would choose not to spend. They’re so busy buying and upgrading their lives that they can’t imagine any other way.

On the flip side, frugal people are inherently different, mostly because they usually have a goal in mind. Either they’re saving for the future or paying off their house, or socking away money to try and retire early (or at least on-time).

People who don’t focus on personal finance may not appreciate these goals at all, mostly because they don’t tend to think that far ahead. Keep in mind that up to 78% of U.S. workers live paycheck to paycheck, and that nearly three out of four full-time workers say they’re in debt. Further, more than half of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings.

When you consider these statistics, it’s easy to see why regular people don’t understand your early retirement goals or your devotion to living debt-free. It’s not their reality – not even close – so of course they won’t “get” why you’re so focused on the future.

As a frugal warrior, you don’t have to understand the way people think or spend – and you probably couldn’t care less. But it’s equally important to realize that it’s not your job to make people understand why you’re frugal. Some people never will, and that’s perfectly okay.

• Related: Eight Numbers That Show Just How Much Americans Struggle With Money

#3: Meet them halfway.

Out of experience, I can say that some of the backlash frugal people get is because others feel you’re isolating yourself or refusing to participate. A good example from my own life is when, many years ago, I refused to participate in Christmas gift exchanges because I believed (and still believe) they’re a waste of money.

Here’s how I see gift exchanges: Everybody buys a random, impersonal $20 gift and exchanges that gift, so we all end up with something we didn’t want. In my mind, this is akin to setting $20 on fire, so I’ve never wanted to participate.

Of course, family members haven’t always loved that – and I think some of them misinterpreted my feelings to mean that we didn’t want to be a part of the group. That’s why, over the years, I’ve softened on situations like these where everyone wants to participate except for us.

That’s not to say that you should spend money you don’t want to just to make other people happy. Instead, try to see your frugality from the perspective of an outsider. Sometimes, spending the $10 or $20 to participate in a group event can go a long way to ensuring family harmony or mending a long-term friendship – and that’s a sound investment.

• Related: Heartfelt Holiday Gifts for People Who Don’t Need More Stuff

The Bottom Line

If you’re sick of dealing with people who seem irked by your frugal lifestyle, remember that it’s more about them than it is about you. Sometimes people might see your success as their own failure, and the fact you’re making financial progress may serve as a painful reminder to them that they’re not.

It’s your life and your goals that matter, and there’s power in not caring what other people think. As you forge forward with your frugal lifestyle, keep your eye on the prize and don’t let negative opinions get you down.

Haters may always hate, but you don’t have to listen.

Holly Johnson is an award-winning personal finance writer and the author of Zero Down Your Debt. Johnson shares her obsession with frugality, budgeting, and travel at ClubThrifty.com.

Related Articles:

• Five Reasons People Fear Frugality – and Why They’re Wrong
• Frugality and Long-Term Financial Success
• 10 Daily Habits of Frugal People

How do you deal with people who don’t like your frugal lifestyle? Please share in the comments below. 

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Are Cover Letters Dying? Maybe, But Here’s Why You Should Write Them Anyway

You’re applying for your dream job — or just a job that pays more than what you’ve got going on right now.

After tailoring your resume to the job description, you obsess over every single word. Then you make your significant other read it approximately 23 times.

Once you determine it’s perfect, you move on… to the cover letter. Dun, dun, dun.

That’s the one-page document that’s supposed to add personality to your bulleted resume.

Online advice says, Be cool. Be interesting. Show; don’t tell. Make yourself shine through the screen.

I respond, Sigh.

Aside from those “We’re sorry. You’re just not the right fit. We won’t elaborate why; we’ll just let you lose sleep over it” responses, the cover letter is arguably the worst part of the job-search process.

But times could be changing, at least according to Jobvite’s 2017 Jobseeker Nation Report released earlier this year.

The survey revealed nearly half (47%) of American workers didn’t even bother sending a cover letter when they applied to their current job. Additionally, 74% of recruiters reported not considering the document when evaluating a candidate.

Jobvite bluntly concluded that, yes, the cover letter is dead — or at least dying.

What’s the Point of a Cover Letter Anyway?

Can you really fit your entire being into one page of Times New Roman text?

Not really, but the original purpose of a cover letter was to add some flair to that straightforward, bullet-pointed resume.

“It’s a vehicle to accompany your resume, portfolio or whatever it is you’re sending in,” says Loren Margolis, CEO of Training and Leadership Success. She spent nine years as a leadership and career coach at Columbia Business School.

Margolis says the cover letter is also a great spot to express your desire to be called in for an interview, something you can’t necessarily do in your resume.

There’s also what she calls a hidden purpose. “[Recruiters and hiring managers] want to see if you’ve got writing skills and that you can put together two paragraphs — or sentences even,” Margolis explains. “This is your time to shine and demonstrate your communication skills. It can really be a selling point.”

Bryan Chaney, the talent branding and attraction strategist at Indeed, says the cover letter is a great opportunity to explain why you’re the perfect fit for a job, even if your background doesn’t exactly align with the job requirements. “Your cover letter is there to explain why the recruiter should talk to you,” he says.

Jumping off that point, Rachel Bitte, the chief people officer at Jobvite, explains the cover letter was a way to “tailor your application to the company and position” and to “make a personal connection with the recruiter and to highlight useful information that doesn’t shine through on bullet points on a resume.”

She emphasizes one key word, though: Was. The cover letter was…

Why Are Cover Letters Dying?

For those of us who have poured our entire hearts and souls — and perhaps a sleepless night — into a cover letter, I apologize for what I’m about to say…

Many recruiters these days simply don’t have time to read your cover letter.

“The number of candidates who apply, as well as the pace at which companies need to bring in fresh talent, has increased exponentially, leaving recruiters with more applications to get through and less time to do so,” Bitte explains. “Recruiters only have a couple of minutes to review an application, so they want to get to the core of someone’s experiences and background quickly via their resume.”

It’s also worth considering how we’re finding and applying to jobs now — through online portals such as LinkedIn.

“Sometimes you don’t have the medium to take a Word doc and create a cover letter in it,” Margolis notes. She uses LinkedIn as an example. The “Easy Apply” feature only asks for a flavorless resume.

What’s Replacing the Cover Letter?

At this point you’ve probably guessed it: Social media is now playing a huge role in the job application process.

“Before, the cover letter was a way to show off some personality, but modern recruiters can now look to social media to suss out culture fit,” Bitte explains.

But the key lies in properly managing and carefully curating those platforms.

“When it’s done right, it can showcase your creative skills, personality and ability to build a network,” Bitte says.

Remember that Jobvite Job Seeker Survey? It found recruiters love seeing examples of work, volunteer experience and mutual connections.

“That, more than any cover letter, could be the difference maker on whether you land the job,” Bitte concludes.

Further down the road, some professionals, including Chaney and Margolis, believe video will become more prevalent. Chaney deems it an “accessible storytelling medium.”

Imagine sending a 10-minute selfie video to a hiring manager.

So I Can Stop Writing Cover Letters Now, Right?

Well, not exactly.

Not all recruiters have tossed cover letters out the Windows (get it?), especially in writing-focused and communication-focused industries.

Many jobs require communication skills, and that’s why the cover letter is handy: to make sure a candidate can piece together sentences to form a paragraph, like Margolis explained.

Other recruiters and hiring managers might use the cover letter to gauge a candidate’s attention to detail. In the job description, it might ask for specific paragraphs on specific topics. If those aren’t included, it shows you might not be cut out for the job.

Margolis also mentions those popular “cover letter optional” listings. When it comes to these, she encourages applicants to submit a cover letter. It can’t hurt — only help.

When asked if the cover letter will ever totally die off, Margolis says, “You know, I think they may. But here’s what will never fully die out: An organization’s need to know how you communicate as a part of their vetting process.”

So, for now, we recommend you keep writing ’em!

Carson Kohler (@CarsonKohler) is a junior writer at The Penny Hoarder. She wishes cover letters would hurry up and die already.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, one of the largest personal finance websites. We help millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. In 2016, Inc. 500 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the No. 1 fastest-growing private media company in the U.S.

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