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السبت، 5 أكتوبر 2019

Inspiration from Seneca, Rhiannon Giddens, Babish, and More!

Once a month (or so), I share a dozen things that have inspired me to greater personal, professional, and financial success in my life. I hope they bring similar success to your life. Please enjoy the archives of earlier collections of inspirational things.

1. Seneca on happiness

“Happy the man who improves other people not only when he is in their presence but even when he is in their thoughts.” – Seneca

I can tell you from personal experience that one of the best feelings you can have is a realization that someone you’ve helped and influenced in a positive way has gone on to do good things without your involvement whatsoever.

You don’t have to be a teacher or a social worker to have this kind of experience, either. Just be an example of the kind of person you want society to be filled with. Have a set of core values, share them when asked, and most importantly, live by those values every second of the day. Listen to the other person when in conversation with them and don’t just use the time when they’re speaking to formulate your response.

Those kinds of things are easier said than done, of course, but those who do them have an outsized positive impact on those around them, and that positive impact often has ripple effects of positivity. The moment when you realize those ripples exist and you had nothing directly to do with them is a moment where you feel really, really good.

2. Jocko Podcast Episode #174 – Set Standards. Aspire to Achieve Them. Become an Eminently Qualified Human

This is a powerful episode of a very good podcast that’s managed to stay in the 20 or so podcasts I listen to for a few years now. The subject of this episode is the value of setting standards for yourself so that you know exactly whether or not you’re living up for what you expect from yourself. The hosts get to this point by going through the personnel review standards that the Navy and Marines use for evaluating service members and discussing the value of standards-based review and how to apply it to yourself.

In short, the episode suggests that you strive to become a better person in every area of life and take steps to do so every single day. In doing this, they propose coming up with clear standards with which to evaluate yourself in terms of today’s performance, meaning you do it every day.

This is actually very much in line with the ideas discussed in the books Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith and Atomic Habits by James Clear, both of which I have lauded in the past couple of years on this site. I’ve spent time over the last few weeks combining all of these ideas into a system of my own of sorts that takes elements from all three.

What I’m trying to do is define what a truly great person is in each of the different spheres of my life and how that great person lives out a day in their life, in detail and in terms of things that are applicable to me. What does a physically healthy person do each day? What does a fit person do each day? What does a taekwondo master do each day? I’m just writing out what kinds of things those roles embodies. Then, I’m using that to figure out what a “10/10” day is for me as I try to fulfill that role or at least move in that direction to the best of my ability, with my primary interest being effort and gradual refinement. In the end, I aim to reach a point where I’m scoring myself each day on a healthy handful of categories, then revising the standards every few months so that I continue to get better in all areas.

I’ve found that trying to develop this kind of personal standard for myself has filled up a ton of journal entries as I work out the details of everything. It’s been enlightening, and it’s also made me realize that I’m not always choosing the best goals and targets for what I want out of life.

To me, this kind of stuff is pure inspiration. Anything that makes you think about the life you want to live and the person you want to be in great detail is hugely inspirational.

3. Eric Thomas on the next 24 hours

“Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.” – Eric Thomas

Focus on today. Today is literally all that matters. Make today great. Worry about tomorrow when it comes, but make it great, too.

What does it mean to make a day “great”? That’s up to you to decide, of course. Most of us have a good sense as to what makes a day pretty worthless, but what makes a great day? You really have to define that for yourself.

Then, aim to get as close to that great day as you can every single day. If you do that, your life is going to be really good in the short run and the long run.

4. Google Chrome Library Extension

If you’re an avid reader like me, this extension for the Google Chrome web browser is an amazing thing. Whenever you visit a page for a specific book at several different websites, including Amazon, it pops up and lets you know automatically if that book is available at a library near you. It picks a few nearby libraries by default and you can change those libraries in the settings.

In the last few weeks alone, this popup has kept me from three different unnecessary book purchases that I was considering (not sure I would have actually bought any of them, but I was thinking about it). Rather than whipping out the credit card, I whipped out the library card instead.

Of course, right now I have more books on hold at the library than I can probably read in the time that I’ll have them.

5. Joseph P. Kauffman on being judged

“Any time you worry that someone is going to judge you, that is really you judging yourself.” – Joseph P. Kauffman

The idea that someone else will judge you is simply the assumption that other people will think the way you think and that other people will give you the same level of consideration that you give to yourself. Neither one of those things is ever true.

First of all, no one thinks in the way that you do. The things you notice and value in other people is a set of things that’s different from everyone else. Thus, your opinion on things is likely to be somewhat different than everyone else, and that includes your opinion of yourself.

Second, no one is ever going to go over you in the detail in which you go over yourself. They’ll usually pull out two or three traits about you and stop there.

The things you’re judging yourself over are things that likely won’t be noticed, and if they are, the other person likely won’t think negatively about it. Worrying about it is doing nothing other than bringing down your mood, which will definitely impact how you present yourself and is more likely to be noticed than whatever it is you’re worrying about.

You’ve got this. Don’t worry about what other people think. You got this.

6. Lao Tzu on time

“Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time’ is like saying ‘I don’t want to.'” – Lao Tzu

Whenever you say you don’t have time for something, what you are really saying is that something else is a higher priority in your life for your time use.

Look around your life. Is everything you’re doing a higher priority than this? Are you sure you’re not just committing to things because they’re urgent and not actually important? Are you sure that you can’t actually commit time to this thing or this person?

My philosophy is this: if something is really important to me, like doing something with a friend, and I am really booked up right now, I flat-out tell them that and I try to schedule something in a week or two right then and there so that they know that they’re actually important to me. If I just say that I can’t because I’m busy, it doesn’t matter how important they actually are to me or how important this particular matter is to me, I’m giving off an indication to others that it’s not important to me.

Similarly, when people never seem to want to do things with me, I eventually stop asking.

7. Rhiannon Giddens – Tiny Desk Concert

From the description:

There is an intensity to Rhiannon Giddens I could feel from the moment she arrived at the Tiny Desk, and her songs reflect that spirit. “Ten Thousand Voices,” the first song in the set, was inspired by Rhiannon reading about the sub-Saharan slave trade. The follow-up piece was inspired by the American slave trade and a New England newspaper ad in the late 1700s of a young woman “for sale” and her 9-month old baby who was “at the purchaser’s option.” Rhiannon Giddens’ thoughts of this young woman and how her life and her child were not under her control prompted the song “At the Purchaser’s Option.”

Despite its weightiness, Rhiannon Giddens’ music is entertaining, and her voice, the melodies, and her accompaniment are engaging. But it is music infused with lessons and deep purpose — something all too rare in popular music in my opinion.

Three of the songs performed at the Tiny Desk are from her recent release, There Is No Other, recorded with her musical partner Francesco Turrisi. Francesco plays banjo, piano and frame drum here and is joined by Jason Sypher on upright bass. Rhiannon picks up a replica of an 1858 banjo for “I’m On My Way,” which she says helps her access her ancestors. “So much beauty and so much horribleness wrapped up together seems to be our story,” she says.

For her closing number, she focuses on the beauty. “You can call it whatever you want, ‘gravity,’ ‘God,’ whatever. There’s a force that I believe in, and that’s what I focus on.” And with that the band takes us out on the beautiful gospel tune, “He Will See You Through.”

SET LIST “Ten Thousand Voices” “At the Purchaser’s Option” “I’m On My Way” “He Will See You Through”

MUSICIANS Rhiannon Giddens: vocals, banjo; Francesco Turrisi: banjo, piano, frame drum; Jason Sypher; upright bass

Rhiannon Giddens is one of my favorite musicians of all time. Her wonderful voice, unquestioned skill on the banjo and other instruments, and the way she uses her music to deeply explore issues makes her more than deserving of the MacArthur Genius Grant she received recently.

Please, have a listen.

8. C.S. Lewis on pain and happiness

“The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s the deal.” ― C.S. Lewis

I believe the opposite is true, too. Often, the happiness I feel now is the pain I had before.

Why? There are a lot of reasons. Things change. The things you love don’t stay the same, and you don’t stay the same, either. It takes work to keep that relationship alive, and if you don’t invest, it’ll fade. You’ll wake up one morning thinking that things are as they always were and … it isn’t. That can hurt.

Even when things don’t fade away, they can suddenly be lost. I’ve lost loved ones very abruptly, and it hurts. That thing that was happy just yesterday is painful today.

The reverse is true, too. If you take something that’s important to you and you pour a lot of yourself into it, it builds into something that you can be proud of, something that does bring you happiness.

Even more than that, I don’t think you can feel happiness without pain. If your life never has difficulty or pain or challenge, it’s hard to feel happiness. It’s hard to feel the joy of something if your life is loaded with it. Treats become rote and routine and ordinary if you repeat them constantly.

9. Margaret Heffernan on the human skills we need in an unpredictable world

From the description:

The more we rely on technology to make us efficient, the fewer skills we have to confront the unexpected, says writer and entrepreneur Margaret Heffernan. She shares why we need less tech and more messy human skills – imagination, humility, bravery – to solve problems in business, government and life in an unpredictable age. “We are brave enough to invent things we’ve never seen before,” she says. “We can make any future we choose.”

Modernization has been so effective at taking away a lot of the dangers of daily life for most of us that we don’t confront the unexpected all that often, and we often don’t know how to handle it well. Yet it’s that ability to confront unexpected situations that often separates success from failure.

Unexpected events are messy, but so are the tools for handling them. I think this video gives a great look at those skills and why they’re valuable.

10. Susan Ertz on immortality and a rainy afternoon

“Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” – Susan Ertz

A rainy Sunday afternoon is a wonderful thing to me. It’s a time to play a game with my family or some friends. It’s a time to read a book. It’s a time to make a batch of fermented food. It’s a time to pull out a cookbook and find something interesting to make. It’s a time to learn about a topic I’ve always been curious about. It’s a time to call my mom. It’s a time to write a letter to someone. I would love to have more lazy rainy Sunday afternoons.

To me, the sadness in this quote is that people don’t know how to fill those afternoons. Time is the most precious resource we have and the desire to live forever is purely a desire to have more time, yet so often we waste that time.

Don’t waste those rainy Sunday afternoons. If nothing else, spend it curled up next to someone you love, or if they’re not nearby, call someone you love and catch up.

11. Basics with Babish – Poutine

From the description:

Poutine is the stuff of legend to our Northern neighbors…so let’s hope I don’t screw it up too bad! Even if you can’t find yourself real cheese curds, this rich and savory sober-up-snack is worth adding to your cheat day menu.

I’ve shared a few videos from Babish over the past year or so. Not only does he prepare dishes that are enticing and still achievable in a normal home kitchen, he does it with production values and humor that are just absolutely perfect for what I want out of an instructional cooking video on Youtube.

His videos achieve that level of getting everything so right that it looks effortless, half-convincing me I could make good cooking Youtube videos because it looks easy. It’s not. There are so many details in this video that are just perfect.

As I’m admiring that, at the same time, I’m learning how to make really good poutine. That’s excellence all around.

12. Jon Stewart on values

“If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested, they’re not values: they’re hobbies.” ― Jon Stewart

The time when values really matter is when they’re hard to stick to. It’s those moments when you feel really conflicted, where part of you wants to go one way and another part wants to go another way. It’s when you hear that everything is fine but something inside of you is saying it’s not fine and you feel conflicted. That’s when values matter.

If you walk away from your values during those moments of conflict, are they really your values? No, they’re not. If you have to really twist a situation to try to halfway convince yourself that something is in line with your values, are you really living in line with your values? No, you’re not.

We all have a sense of right and wrong inside of us. It’s not necessarily exactly the same from person to person, but many of the broad strokes are the same. The question is, do we live by those values? Or do we abandon them whenever it’s expedient to do so or whenever someone says something appealing to us?

The choice is up to each of us, but let’s not kid ourselves: when we do things and believe things and buy into things that aren’t in line with the values we supposedly hold, those values aren’t really our values.

The post Inspiration from Seneca, Rhiannon Giddens, Babish, and More! appeared first on The Simple Dollar.



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Getting a Roommate? Here Are 4 Ways to Protect Your Finances

We all have a roommate horror story, right?

That roommate who ate all your cereal, the one who borrowed your favorite shirt — without asking — and the one who Never. Washed. One. Plate.

That’s the tradeoff though, right? You’ll put up with a few annoyances because having a roommate can substantially cut your living expenses.

But what if your roommate stops paying the water bill or moves out halfway through your lease and you’re stuck paying all the bills?

Deadbeat roommates can leave you owing hundreds — or thousands — in unpaid bills. And if you’re unaware they’re skipping out on payments and your name is on the lease or utility bill, it could potentially wreck your credit score.

While we can’t really help with the irritating roommates (maybe a lock on the cereal box?), we do have ways to split your costs upfront and avoid getting stuck paying more than your fair share.

Ways to Ensure Your Roommate Pays Their Share

In theory, if you have one roommate, you split everything 50/50. But what if you have the master bedroom — do you pay per square foot? What if your roommate has a dog — does that affect the cut for the security deposit?

Putting as much as you can in writing before you move in together will help you both understand the expectations and help preserve the relationship, according to Mark Bauer, a professor at Stetson University College of Law in St. Petersburg, Florida. 

Pro Tip

If you’re moving in with someone you didn’t know before, ask for references from former roommates and previous landlords. Be prepared to provide the same.

“A lot of people think that having a formal agreement, particularly if the person is a friend, is off-putting,” he said. “But a friendly agreement spelling out responsibilities in advance is something that people who trust each other do.”

Protecting your finances becomes even more important when you move out because you are no longer there to monitor what’s happening — and whether bills are being paid.

We’ve come up with four ways to help protect your finances from the moment you find a roommate right through the day you move out. 

1. Ask for Separate Leases

If you haven’t signed a lease yet, this could be an opportunity to protect yourself from getting stuck with the entire rent — typically, the biggest shared expense — if your roommate decides to move out early.  

That’s important since if you and your roommate sign a lease, you’re each responsible for 50% of the rent. But it also means either one of you is responsible for 100% of the rent — legally known as joint and several liability, Bauer explained.

So if your roommate decides to stop paying their share — whether it’s because they moved out or simply stopped sending in their half of the rent — the landlord can come after you for the entire rent.

Pro Tip

If it’s your first time living with someone, consider signing a month-to-month lease. That way, if you find out you got a bad roommate after a couple months, you’re not stuck there for a whole year.

“It doesn’t matter that you’ve been faithfully putting in your 50% every month including when the other person didn’t,” Bauer said. “As far as the landlord is concerned, you were jointly liable.”

Instead, request two lease agreements stating that you’re separately liable — it might result in the landlord having some say over your next roommate (since the landlord can choose another tenant to sign a lease with), but at least you won’t be responsible for covering your roommate’s half of the rent. 

2. Create a Roommate Agreement

Regardless of the lease, creating a roommate agreement can help everyone get on the same page, so to speak, about responsibilities.

Considering you’ll probably be dealing with smaller amounts of money, it’s unlikely you’ll recoup your losses if your roommate really didn’t pay the final month’s electric bill, for instance.

“What are you going to do — pay for an attorney to sue?” Bauer said. “It’s just not worth it.

Small claims court doesn’t yield readily-enforceable judgments, so that’s just kicking the can down the road, too.”

For most people, simply seeing everything in writing is enough to prevent most issues — without having to go through the hassle (and money) of making it official.

“Whether it’s legally binding isn’t relevant — the fact is that you’re more likely to follow rules that you’ve agreed to,” said Bauer. 

He noted that spelling out responsibilities in a document “makes it less likely that there’s going to be a dispute that can rise to the level of contract dispute or legal dispute or a judgment from a landlord in the first place.”

So what should you include in a roommate agreement? You can include as much detail as you want — who takes out the garbage, when quiet hours are, the number of guests allowed on the premises — but you’ll want to include some basics as far as financial responsibilities are concerned:

Basics

For any agreement, make sure to include all of the tenants. You can include separate sections for beginning and end dates for each roommate if they move in after the initial lease agreement, but at the very least, you should include the following info:

  • Names of the tenants.
  • Landlord’s contact info.
  • Address of the residence.
  • Beginning and end dates for the lease.
  • Dated signatures.

Financial Responsibilities 

For each entry, include the amount due (or indicate each tenant must acknowledge receipt of the amount due if it varies monthly), payment due date, payment submission info, percentage each person owes and the responsible party for submitting payment:

  • Security deposit.
  • Rent.
  • Utilities.
  • Additional shared expenses (for example, food, parking or pets)

Roommate and/or Lease Obligations

Besides the expenses, you can include sections that address rules and regulations in regards to the residence:

  • Responsibility for finding a replacement and notifying the landlord if a tenant moves out before the lease ends. 
  • How to handle maintenance issues, including purchasing common room supplies like paper towels. 
  • Rules for bringing in outside guests or animals.
  • How the security deposit/damage charges should be divided at the conclusion of the lease.

3. Make Sure Anything That Has Your Name on it is Paid

An apartment building is shown as the clouds turn pink in the springtime.

There’s a lot to take care of when you’re ready to move: figuring out the fastest commute route to work, reserving that four-hour window for the cable company, begging your friends and family to help you move.

You might be tempted to split up some responsibilities with your roommate to save time, but you should be careful that you’re not setting yourself up for potential unwelcome surprises if your roommate relationship goes south.

“Usually they split it responsibly: I’ll call the city to get the water taken care of, you deal with the electric company — that’s a problem if things go wrong,” Bauer said. “I would recommend as many roommates as there are, everyone’s name be on everything because there’s just no other way to secure yourself.”

FROM THE DEBT FORUM

And if your name is on any kind of agreement, it’s your responsibility to make sure those bills are paid, as overdue bills could affect your credit score or ability to rent in the future, according to Rod Griffin, Experian’s director of consumer education. 

“The next time you try to rent an apartment or lease a home, whatever it might be, a tenant agreement’s report could be used that might show that you’ve broken the terms of the lease” if you — or your roommate — didn’t pay for contractual expenses, he said.

The good news is you can ask to have your on-time payments reported to the credit bureaus to help boost your credit score — which could help when you’re looking for that next place.

“Good credit scores can mean you will pay lower security deposits,” said Griffin, who suggested a free service like Experian Boost.

4. If You Move, File Change-of-Address Notifications

It’s time to move on, and you need closure.

Yes, that might be telling your roommate exactly how you felt about the stolen Cheerios, but it also means you need to formally end your relationship with your residence. 

And that’s where some people get tripped up by unexpected or forgotten expenses that follow them long after they’ve moved on.

Pro Tip

If you receive mail under multiple names — like your married and maiden name — complete a separate change-of-address form for each name.

File a change-of-address form with the post office at least two few weeks before your move to ensure important mail is forwarded to your new address. Additionally, you should notify any creditors and the credit bureaus separately, so that sensitive financial documents don’t accidentally end up at your old address.

“When you look at your credit report, you will see current and former addresses associated with the accounts you have,” Griffin said. “The important thing is to see your current, new address on that report.”

Finally, contact the property management and utility companies to remove your name from the lease and other contracts to ensure anyone remaining at the residence is responsible for bills associated with the address — and their late payments won’t affect your credit.

Making sure your contact information is up to date can help you protect your finances, whatever your next move may be. 

Tiffany Wendeln Connors is a staff writer/editor at The Penny Hoarder. Read her bio and other work here, then catch her on Twitter @TiffanyWendeln.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.



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